


I'm okay with a big messy family

by KillerRedPanda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Bucky is a flirt, Clint is a goofball, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, I love her, I love when he calls him doll, M/M, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, No Smut, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Self-Hatred, So does Steve, bucky loves calling tony doll, for marvel, my coping mechanisms, natasha is my daughter, no beta we die like men, shitty author, steve is kinda sly, tony needs his comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:06:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23386333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerRedPanda/pseuds/KillerRedPanda
Summary: It's a rainy day, Tony hates those they bring back memories he hates himself for. He feels alone, if only he had someone to comfort him and love him.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark, heavily implied Natasha Romanov/Bruce Banner
Comments: 5
Kudos: 123





	I'm okay with a big messy family

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is another one of my old one-shots I thought I would just post. I don't have a beta so apologies for any misspelled words or any typos. Other than that, STAY SAFE and enjoy!

It was a normal day in New York, as usual. Bad guys or/and thugs trying to claim others belongings, and our superhero's coming to save the day.

The day was surprisingly not sunny, it had been raining. The rain pouring and hitting the glass hard, to the Avengers compound.

Tony sat in the common room by himself. Thinking over some things. His mind couldn't go without thinking about something's unless he was of course- dead. He wasn't. Clearly.

Tony sat on the couch, hugging his legs, feet in the couch and back to the arm of the couch. His head tucked inside of his knees.   
There was a few moments that he would lift his head to reach for the small glass of Whiskey. His blood shot eyes, puffy from the added rubbing of his eyes.

Sometimes being able to think with Tony Stark was a good thing- other times he was basically like this- sometimes worse. That or he'd manage to stick himself up in his work room for a couple of days straight- no sleep. That usually happened when he needed something to keep his mind busy.

Days like these- were again- normal. The only thing different is that, Pepper wasn't there to rub his back and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. She left Tony a little while back, they had the talk- and they both thought it good for a separation. They were right, Tony loved her as a friend, and she loved Tony the same.

So when Tony had a panic attack a few days ago, his only means to calm down were the equations in his head and/or the machines that Tony sprints days in a row to work on.

It were times like these that Tony's mind wanted to replay every bad thing that happened with his life, with him. His body and mind constant reminder of how much a fuck up he was. Usually the Whiskey or Scotch would back the thoughts out, but Tony had gained an immunity to the alcohol.

His attempts to distract his mind and body from hurting, they were just poor attempts. Tony hates the rain, he hated the fact that it looked sad, that it would bring his mood from a confined feeling of hurt to the overwhelming feeling of hurting.

Sure, Tony had things that made the hurting less unbearable. Like, Peter. Tony loved him like a son, he reminded him of when he still had a bit of innocence and love for most things, but slowly his Father broke that down- following behind had been the people he helped so gratefully. Other than Peter, there was of course Rhodey and Pepper. They were his best friends, sure they had ups and downs but that's what made their bond stronger than ever.

Other then the people previously said, nobody had cared enough to say or even look at Tony with a once of kindness or awareness. He was like a closed off bubble that would eventually pop, so they just ignore him and pay attention to the newer, freshly blown bubbles.

Throw out the old and in with the new- as they would say.

Tony stared at the window, watching as droplets would hit the window and hit others, that would fall into other until they eventually fell off the window and away from Tony's sight.

It reminded Tony of himself. The more added pressure or sudden hit of depression- the more he falls, and if not then, then later he would break down and fall into a darkness he oh-so wishes he could escape.

Sure, Tony has had prescription Anti-Depressants before, but it caused a reverse effect on him, and led him to nearly taking the whole bottle at once.

It wasn't a new thing to think about suicide for Tony, he practically drank himself there. He was just too scared to let go, he loved to many people to disappoint them, plus he didn't want to be in the hands of doctors, telling him it was okay.

It wasn't. They didn't know what he'd been through- what he'd done, hurting others, getting hurt even more, remembering everything that basically hurt him more was than one.

Tony was a sorry man, he may not have said out loud- but he was sorry for being there and hurting others, and hurting. For being alive.

Another rush hit Tony's gut, a rush of warm hurt that made his eyes burn, and his hand shake. He hid his head into his knees, letting the tears drop.

He hates himself, he hates Tony Stark. He hates everything about himself. And truth be told, when Steve and the other Rouge Avengers left, they had a right. Tony understood why he left, he was annoying, stubborn, and an asshole.

Steve, Tony's friend. Or- well was, Steve was kind and a powerful mascot to the world. The worlds greatest avenger. Bucky, Steve's best friend, he was a good man too, he was just used and tortured in the worst way- he deserved better and Steve has that better.

Tony knew it was his fault when the avengers eventually spilt. To be honest, when Tony thought about anything- everything bad was always Tony's fault.

The worlds worst human being- trash.

Tony's mind went from thinking about Steve and the rouge avengers to his father.

The man did know best. Tony was anything but special, he was nothing. Tony thought that maybe one day, he'd prove the old man wrong. No, he'd been right the entire time. Tony's dad, Howard has done a lot of fucked up things, but at least he created Captain America and not a killer robot. At least he knew what his son would turn out to be, he knew his son would be a fuck up- not only to his family and friends but to the fucking universe.

Truth be told, it wouldn't surprise Tony if the universe proclaimed it hated him, hell- he hated himself.

Pepper knew that it wouldn't work, he was a fuck up. Rhodey became disabled because of Tony's hurt feelings. Peter- well nothing happened yet- it's never too late though. The rouge Avengers- it wasn't a surprise if they hated his guts- he'd join their poll to bring himself down. Maybe he'd just get Bucky to finish the blood line.

That was a low blow. Again, Tony was an asshole, even in his own thoughts.

Another rush of depression rushed throughout Tony's body, he was shaking now, he wanted to just die and not hurt anymore. He wanted the world- universe to cut him some slack. He's done so many fucked up things- they probably think he doesn't deserve it.

Tony wishes either that the terrorist from Afghanistan killed him or maybe even Obadiah. Or any of the previous attempts to kill Tony Stark. Hell, Tony would've settled for even Loki to kill him, Tony only wished for it.

Maybe they could've at least do the job for him, other than being a pussy.

Tony cried harder, squeezing his legs even harder, he couldn't hear anything other than his wreaked breathing and the ringing in his ears.

Tony jolts up, at the sound of his phone ringing. Tony lifts his head up from his body barricade. He looks over to the table and looks at the caller ID. It's Pepper.

Tony picks the phone ups with shakes hands.   
And slides his fingers over the green.

"Hello?" He tries to put the horse voice into a sleepy one. It usually worked, with Pepper.   
"Tony? Did you just wake up?" Tony instead of answering the phone just made a noise of agreement.

"Well, wake up. There is a meeting with the rouge avengers. You need to get dressed and head over to the meeting room. And Tony?"   
Tony looked back at the watered down glass. And made a sound of agreement.

"I know things have been hard, but- maybe this meeting will make it better." Tony could hear the plead in her voice, maybe she wished for Tony to behave. Tony would.

"Okay, pep. I'll see about it, what time?" There was a silent sound breaking between them.   
"Tony? Are you sure you were asleep?" Tony made the third noise of agreement, hopefully fooling Pepper.   
"I know it's been raining, Tony. I was hoping that you were in your workshop. I'm coming up, then we can talk." Tony honestly didn't want to talk, he made him hurt more thinking about it.   
"No-Pepper- please, it fine. I'm fine, I was really sleeping." Tony's voice was horse, making him wince at how wet he sounded.

"Tony, don't lie to me, I'll be there soon. Tony?" Tony put the phone down and hung up. He didn't want her to see him so broken. He didn't want anybody to see how much he was broken, he deserved it. He wanted to go through it alone.

"FRIDAY, lock the door. Do not let anybody in. No matter what." The room was silent.

"Boss, I don't think that is a good idea." FRIDAY said, the concern in her voice was evident.

"Do it, or I'll reprogram you, or something. Just please do it." His voice barely a whisper.   
Though, FRIDAY must have heard him because the doors lock and the lights dim.

Tony grabs the whiskey and chugs the rest down, but nothing happens. Tony feels his eyes burn even more. He looks outside the window and sees the wet grass and the grey, stormy clouds above it all.

Tony hides himself back into his knees and feels himself break into himself.

Pathetic. He was pathetic.

Worthless.

Trash.

A whore.

Tony sobbed into his legs. God he hated who he was.

He felt so small, his body huddled together, and his breath barely even there. His head hurt.

Everybody should just hate him so that it would be easier to just stop the hurt.

His mind went back to Bucky and Steve. Those two have had each other's back since forever, and Tony was the one who tried to break that.

If Tony has regretted anything, it was the fact that he was just so put on the fact that Bucky and Steve were almost lost again. Because of Tony. A friendship ruined because of Tony.

Tony sobbed again, the tears started to burn his face, or it was his face that burnt- felt hot. Tony looked up, his vision blurry and unfocused. He wasn't breathing. His breathing became into a deep and severe version of hyperventilating.

Tony reaches out to nothing, hoping something would help him breathe. But Tony only collapsed onto the ground, on his hands and knees. His breathing becoming none, he clutched his shirt over his ark reactor. His face fell onto the floor, being only held up by one arm, and his body being exhausted.

Tony started to kick and push his arm out to grab onto something. Tony kicked the table away from him, and the couch was pushed away, and his vision was turning white.

Until it just went black.

Tony could hear, a echo-y sound of banging and yelling. His vision was still blurry but he could make out the low gleam of red, meaning someone was trying to get in.

Tony could hear FRIDAY try to talk to him, but he could barely talk, as well as breathe.

The banging stopped. Tony slowly tried to get up, but he couldn't even move his head to the side.

Tony's vision burned, he looked up at the ceiling, glowing red.

"Boss, please give me the order to open the door..." Tony ignored FRIDAY. If the universe chose to make today his last day, it was a long, okay lived life.

Suddenly, a really loud bang erupted the room, and the yelling became more apparent.

Tony hadn't noticed his eyes were closed until he couldn't see but feel two pairs of hands on him.

"...Water... get him water..." Tony turned his head to the side and gasped.

He was trying to breathe, but his chest felt heavy.

"Shh, Tony? Hey, can you say something? Hey, it's okay. It's just me Bruce, and Pepper beside me." Tony could hear him but his voice sounded echo-y. Far from him. Bruce was also a good friend, but he completely ignored everyone after he heard about the 'Civil war' against him and Steve.

Tony groaned, but it sound more of a exhale of breath.

Pepper could be heard yelling. And others too.

"Everyone, Shut up! Give me that pillow. Bruce, will he be okay?" She seemed to calm down a little after it was a little quite.

Tony's head was lifted up and his head was on a cushion of softness. Tony sobbed.

"I-I don't know, if we can get him stable then, yes." Tony knew Pepper was going to say-

"But? Bruce, he's-he's- What?!" She yelled.

Another voice was heard. And it came to Tony attention his eyes were open. He took a gasp of air and lifted himself up and grabbed to the nearest support. Again he was pathetic, he relied on people too much.

"Tony! Hey, honey. Come on, look at me." Pepper grabbed Tony's tear stained face and made him look at her, but his eyes burned again, but this time he was breathing.

"I'm-I'm-I'm So-sor-Sorry." He sobbed. She hushed him and hugged Tony's small frame.   
"Di-di-did-didn't me-mean f-for thi-this." Pepper rocked his body back and forth.

"Stu-stupid." He sobbed harder, he felt Pepper tense.

"Tony, you're not stupid. Tony, stop talking, calm down. Just be- shhh." Pepper kissed his forehead. Tony could feel Bruce's Hans on the lower of his back, they were comforting him, Tony. They were comforting the pathetic man they all knew.

"W-why?" Pepper hushed him again. And he sobbed again.

"I can take him, if you want?" A deep voice said. Pepper sighed. Bruce's hand left his back, and to Tony's attention he was being lifted up and into someone's lap.

Tony tried to look up, he remembered the voice, but he was so out of it, he couldn't remember.

"S-s-Sorry." Tony whispered. A hand rubbed his back, and the other cradled his head.

"Shh- it's okay, you're okay, doll." It was Bucky. Bucky was holding him. Tony sobbed, he was confused, why would he hold him? Was it pity?

"B-b-Barnes?" The hand stopped rubbing his back.

"Yeah, I'll leave if you want, is that what you want?" Tony felt himself shake.

"N-no, please d-don't." The hand continued to rub his back. He also heard Bucky whisper 'shh, it's okay' and 'we're here for you'. It was very comfortable, it was a nice soothing comfort. Especially for how pathetic Tony was.

"T-thank y-y-" It was stopped by an abrupt voice.

"If there anything we can do, well do it. I've post phoned the meeting to next week." It was Steve. He had a sincerity to his voice, it was soft and kind.

"Thank you, Steve. I'm sorry, I should've been here- here for Tony. I knew these happen every time it rains." Peppers voice was soft and hurt.

Tony lifted his head and tried to open his eyes, but his head was just brought back down to Bucky's shoulder.

"Every-every-time it rains?" Another voice rang. It sounded really hurt. "That's been this whole week, God- now I feel like shit, God Tony- I'm sorry." It was Natasha. Tony sniffled.

"Not- not- do-don't worry, no-fault." A hand was in Tony's messy hair, and brushing through it.

"Tony, you're too precious." Tony could hear Natasha say it with a lot of belief in her words. Though, Tony didn't believe it, he didn't believe he was worth being worth that much.

"Not-I'm-not." Tony's breathing was steady, but his eyes still cried, and not to mention into Bucky's shoulder. Also, while Tony sat in Bucky's lap like a crybaby toddler.

"What makes you believe that?" Both Nat and Pepper said at once. Bucky's hold on Tony had tightened on him, not harsh, more for comfort and it made Tony sigh.

"Just-am-Sorry." Nat's hand had move away from Tony's hair, he misses the touch. So when Tony moved his head up and managed to open his eyes. He saw Nat there with some teary eyes smiling at him.

"Tony- you are right. You are so much more than fucking precious." Nat kissed his forehead. "We're all just some fucking idiots." Bucky chuckled, the vibration gong through Tony's body.

"Got That right. You okay, Doll?" Tony looked into Bucky's eyes, and saw that it showed some happy gleam in them. It was calming.

Tony nodded. "Thank you. All of you guys. And I mean all of you guys. Sorry, I know we had something to do and I just-I just-" Steve took a seat beside Bucky and smiled.

"You didn't do anything Tony, you just had a really severe attack, nothing is wrong with that, we all have them. You just happen to have one of the worst ones. We're all just happy to see that you're okay." Tony's eyes let tears drop from his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Tony whispered. Tony went to get up and Bucky held his grip on Tony's body.

"Uh Uh, Doll. You're staying here. Also, Don't be sorry for an attack. Like Stevie here said, 'we're happy to jus' have you okay'." Bucky smiled.

Pepper and Bruce got up from the floor, and that's when Tony noticed, literally all of the avengers were here, with worried but happy lips on their faces.

"Fri? Did you open the door?" FRIDAY chuckled.

"That would be both Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes that did. I take it, we should order a new door?" Tony put his head on Bucky's shoulder, and started to shake with laughter.

"Yeah. Probably."

Suddenly, Clint walked in.   
"Is this we're the meeting is?" He looked over to Tony and smirked. "When did this turned into a freaky place to just do that?" He laughed.

Everybody groaned at Clint. Earning a 'What?' From him and a Tony off of Bucky's lap. Not to mention a glare from Bucky.

Tony stood up on shaky legs, Steve stood and placed Tony between him and Bucky.

Tony noticed that everyone was gathering themselves and heading out the door. It kinda confused him. Only kinda.

"Tony, come on to the kitchen after you're done talking. We all have to say something to each other." That and Nat walked out with Pepper and Bruce, smiling.

Tony looked back at Steve and Bucky. He decided to look down at his thighs instead.

"I'm sorry for everything. I destroyed valuable time away from you guys, you guys should just go. I'll be fine." Bucky wrapped his metal arm around Tony's shoulders and Steve wrapped his arms around Tony's form.

"You didn't do anything. And also no need to apologize. We actually- we wanted to have a chance to talk to you, we've just- uh-" Steve blushed lightly. Captain America was blushing in front of Tony Stark, what other surprising shit was to happen today.

"We wanted to talk to ya', to get sum' thing straight- kinda." Bucky grinned. Steve punched Bucky's thigh. "Ow, ya' jerk face! That hurt!" Tony smiled.

"Was it about what happened at the- uh?" Tony looked between Steve and Bucky, both smiling.

"Yeah, and something else." Steve's grip on Tony tightened.

"Are we also going to talk about the fact that you guys are some real powerful cuddle pals?" Tony smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Tony, me and Bucky are sorry for what happened- at uh- we are sorry for everything that happened between us. We wanted to apologize because we've kinda realized something, that changes a lot." Tony furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, Ste-Roge-Cap. I'm sorry too, I am sorry for not being a friend enough and being all bitchy. I'm also sorry I tried to kill you guys- Especially you Barnes." Tony frowned.   
"You don't deserve any of that. After what- what they did. I only made thing worse by acting out." Tony shakily sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I keep saying it, but I really am- I really am sorry- I just wish we could be friends, though I can understand why you wouldn't, I'm a complete and utter fail-" Steve interrupted Tony.

"Don't say that. You're not, and I know you're sorry Tony. Me and Bucky both. And you call us by Steve and Bucky okay?" Tony nodded, though he didn't know what to say.

"Doll, I take it to no heart ya' tried to kill me, I killed your parents, it only made since at the time. If I were in you're boots, and someone killed Stevie here and made it look like an accident and one day, boom it wasn't and the killer was me, I'd kill me to, or-er- maybe someone else- I wouldn't be able to kill 'im- but hopefully you get my point Doll." Bucky chuckled. He was truly really handsome, he was also a flirt for calling Tony a 'doll'.

"Um, thank you Bar-Bucky. That was well-" Bucky Laughed, it was something else.

"Hey doll, I know I kinda messed it up." Steve snickered.

"More than messed it up, it was a failed mission, good luck next time solider." Steve smirked. He fucking smirked.

"Um, is something happening that I'm not aware of? Cause I'm a genius, and I'm like hella confused right now, and that's basically an insult to me right now." Tony raised a brow.

"Well, something is happening, we wanted to talk to you about something you're more or likely going to say no to, but it's also to get it off our chest, and well we've already talked to everyone else- though just not you- because it's about you- we um-" Tony's eyes widen.

"You're not kicking me out of the avengers are you?" Steve's chokes.

"No! Of course not. We just wanted to say- um-" Tony could feel his heart break a lot more.

Bucky sighs. "We wanted to say that we like you doll, though it might not be the most appropriate time, we wanted to tell you- to help you be happy a little- if that's what it's doing that is." Bucky smiled. "Or if that's what you want, because certainly, we want you, in more ways than one." He smirked.

Tony blushed and so did Steve.

"Bucky! What the hell?! Tony he's just playing around, don't take his flirting seriously, though..." Tony looks at Steve, "He wasn't lying when he said that he like you, I've liked you the day I figured out the real you, which isn't that long but- Bucky here-" Steve smiles, "He's liked you since he saw you, he was like, 'oh- he's a doll.' And I laughed, but other than that, we wanted to tell you- it's okay to refuse us, but we wanted to talk to you about it. Because ultimately we really do like you Tony." Tony started to tear up.

The tears falling, making him sob.

Also alerting the two soldiers that had worry all over their faces.

"Dammit, Steve! Stop talking!" Bucky yelled.

"I didn't say anything wrong did I?! I'm sorry Tony, Hey it's okay. I'm sorry if I said anything bad." Tony shook his head negative.

"Thank you." Tony laughed out of his sob. He hugged Steve, and Steve sat there tense until he relaxed and embraced Tony back. This earning a huff out of Bucky.   
Tony smiled, turning to hug Bucky too.

"What's to thank Doll?" Bucky smiled. Tony looked up.

"What isn't? You guys are so kind to me, and you really don't have to be- it - it just makes me feel a little better, I guess." Tony smiles looking down at his feet.

Tony feels two fingers under his chin lift his head up and suddenly he was starring into steely blue eyes.

"Can I kiss you doll?" Tony blushed.

"Bucky! That was way too rushed!" Steve lightly pushed Bucky's shoulder.

Tony smiled, "A kiss?" Tony's eyes lead him down to Bucky's lips, as he wet and bit his own.

"Yes, doll. I would like very much to give ya' a well deserved kiss." He smirked, and leaned closer. 

And when Tony closed his eyes, the pressure of another's lips on his, made him gasp. That, gave leverage to Bucky, and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue inside of Tony's own.

Tony's head was pull back, "Enough Buck, we should let this happen another day. Tony? Would you like to join our very small walk to the kitchen?" Tony nodded, dazed.

Steve smiled and pressed a small kiss to Tony's lips, surprising the hell out of Tony.

"Oh?" Tony's blush deepened. Steve's smile turned into a grin.

"Up we go." Steve picked Tony up, "I'm carrying you, and Bucky back off, you got to hoard him for a good little bit. Um- no I won't take you up on that offer- yet of course." Steve winked. When Tony looked back at Bucky- he was flipping Steve off with a slight blush.

"Jus' hurry up now." Tony chuckled at Bucky's grumble.

"You guys are so cute." Both men audibly squawked.

"Cute is not a word for a manly man as my self, though," Steve looked Tony in his brown puppy dog eyes, "You are cute. Everything about you is." He smiled, but gasped as Tony hit his shoulder.

"I am manly, and I'm not cute- you guys-" Bucky chuckled at the adorable blush Tony gave off, and opened the door to the Kitchen, letting Steve and Tony in first, before entering himself.

"Doll, you're cute." Tony blushed even harder, and a little harder as he noticed all eyes on him and— his hubbies?

"Oh my god- this is officially embarrassing!" Tony hid his face in Steve's shoulder. 

"Hold on a minute you three!" As Tony, Steve, and Bucky entered the kitchen they stopped at the stern voice Natasha boomed. It became an uncomfortable silence until she grinned, "It's happening isn't it? Eeeek! Yay! I've been waiting for this since those two dorks came to me about some advice." She suddenly turned to Clint and Wanda, "Give me my fifty dollars fuckers." She laughed as the two begrudgingly pulled out fifty each and handed Natasha the money. 

"Wait, what? You bet on me?" Natasha smirked , while everyone else tensed. "Without putting me in the bet, you have some nerve Nat." Tony grinned and sat beside Natasha. Leaving the two bulking soldiers kinda confused. 

"Um, okay. Clint, move." Clint whined his protest but got up and let Bucky sit down. 

"Cheater." Steve grumbled who chose to keep standing in efforts to not be away from either Bucky or Tony. 

Natasha smirked, "You guys are cute." Tony laughed. 

"I know right?! They said they weren't and turned it on me!" Natasha chuckled. 

"Um, I can see why but everybody in this room is cute, especially Brucey-poo!" Bruce blushed and tried to hide behind his glasses, but was just putting him out there instead. 

"Hey, Tony? Me, Pepper, and Vision made some brownies, would you like some?" Wanda smiled at Tony, leaning across the table counter. 

"Yes, thank you. That actually sounds nice." Wanda left with her smile, telling Pepper about Tony wanting some brownies. 

Tony took a moment and looked around, he was happy and on a rainy day, plus he just got two new lovers who in which were all the mouth watering. Tony was content just sitting here with the people who he thought hated him, but only looked at him like they were his family. 

Yep, that is what they are... Family. A big messy Family. 

And Tony, is more than okay with that.


End file.
